To be alone…

12 thoughts on “To be alone…”

  1. Interesting ! No that’s nothing but understatement πŸ˜‰
    I’ve begun to travel to be alone…. Using a lot internet just to send my impressions and blog publications, sometimes one a day and quite never to receive….At first time I refused to socialise. Always alone, except for some short and light encounters… Then time changed me..

    I loved your analyses. Loneliness can bring a lot, so do also socializing. I believe understand, reading you, that the more important is not loneliness, neither socializing but what we can discover when we miss someone, something, some…. Or when noise of crowd make us deaf….

    I should write a lot on your post or around it. Should omment and communicate my experiences on this subject. Some is quite similar to yours, and some quite different. But alas my English is too poor for that. However you infused me with need to do it in French…Terrible is the Babel’s curse

    Good continuation Lisa. My thoughts (and of course those of Françoise) are flying to and over you.

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  2. Yes, being constantly with other people or on the internet leaves us no space, no room to breathe and to be. We are too dazzled by the neon lights of superficial communication to see the gently flickering stars of the all-embracing cosmos of which we are part, and to which we can truly connect only by means of an inner journey…

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  3. Beautifully put. I have just begun a solo trip around Myanmar myself and have been experiencing the same thoughts. I’ve been traveling solo for nearly a decade, and still find myself feeling very frustrated with loneliness. I think, ugh! When will this feeling end? When will I get past it? Perhaps never, but as your post mentions, that’s normal. Its the aversion to the pain that is the problem, not the pain itself. Thank you πŸ™‚

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    1. hi Sheila,
      thanks a lot for reading and taking the time to comment. Trying to just sit with the feelings of loneliness (rather than push them away) is something that I think I will continue to struggle with, too. Have a beautiful time in Myanmar. I went there in 2007 and i hear that it’s changed a bit..when I went to Bagan there were no other tourists. I bet it’s still amazingly beautiful, though, even if it’s busy. If you keep a blog, post the link here so that I can follow it πŸ™‚

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  4. Touched me reading this, thank you πŸ™‚ I have usually no problem being alone, when I am just alone. Actually I love the moment when my travelling companion takes a leave and I am left alone – with the big big world. It is like when I travel with companion we create a small world but when I am left alone the small world goes away and gives space for the big world, no compromises, no waiting, just pure soul breathing the air and flying the space.

    Usually no problem being alone when I am just alone but then being alone in a cafe or other social place can feel very difficult, I start to feel guilty, like I would be missing something, i notice a feeling of embarassment for not having a companion and envy for those who are sitting together, I am unable to just enjoy breathing the air, I get so distracted of the situation that I start to listen other groups talking and acting like I would be thirsty, and my focus goes to social interaction and atmosphere and I get embarassed of the fact that I am out of that all, alone, like someone who is left alone and not good enough to be part of the groups, and i might take a book, or internet or whatever to escape the uncomfortable situation to make myself look occupied and busy. I think it shows my biological nature as a group animal, automatically checking my situation in the group all the time – I think being alone looking for something is the last one in the group dynamics but then again being alone confident and shining can become the center of dynamics and pull others towards you or atleast gives the respect for your being. It is like a playground of energies.

    I think there are two good alternatives to handle the situation, 1. leave my book or other escape methods and just face the difficult emotions in the moment, breathing and meditating on the feeling, loving the embarassed one inside, when I find the spot I can even hug and caress it. Feeling all the social pressure created by our biological group nature systems which have evolved during thousands of years and made our species victorious among animals but which may be unneseccary for todays meditative human being, emotions vibrating in our neuron system, not good or bad but just vibrating neurons. 2. be brave , initiative, functioning animal and go to interact with someone or someones, if none of them seems nice, overcome your aversion towards stuff and discover a new world, since every human being has such a potential and vast complexity in him or her that it should be possible to find loads of interest in any interacting situation with another human being if we can overcome our own aversions and difficulties. If it sucks anyway maybe making an effort developed our good qualities in the longer run. Eh but you know this situation when you start to see different kinds of missions around you and you become a hero completing missions – I think it is not very nice neither in the longer run if it is not fun, we better be enjoying our life 3. If you started with number one and you are no longer escaping anything then you can also just continue with your book – books are amazing stuff, years of research and diligent work striving for perfection on the subject and story by the greatest thinkers, dreamers and storytellers, squeezed in a compact and comfortable amount of pages written in charming and intelligent language.

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    1. hi Tuomas,
      thanks a lot for the amazing comment. i like your point that every human has something that we can find fascinating, if only we overcome our aversions.
      i’m about to publish a couple of posts about being alone whilst hiking in the mountains, which i found more difficult that normal, for some reason!

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